Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A Moment of Nostalgia

Today I got nostalgic. It happens. It’s usually annoying. And it always comes on the tail end of some emotional moment I am having (part of owning a vagina, I suppose).

Back many years ago, before my marriage/divorce, I used to spend all my free time following local bands. Not in any groupie sort of way. More like an indy-nerd, support-local-bands sort of way. I had my favorites. Blood Sledge Electric Death Chickens being one of them. And I was a loyal follower.

I have never lived in a city with a punk music scene quite as talented and saturated as Detroit. Say what you will about that city (post-apocalyptic, murder on every corner, roads beyond repair), live there long enough and it will steal your heart. Especially if you have a little bit of rebellion in you. Especially if you have an ear for music.

Anyways, I decided to do a YouTube search on one of my favorite bands from that time, Grayling. I found only one video of them. The drummer was a different guy, the singer looked strung out, the bass player was lost. I posted it anyway, tagged my friend Shawn (the real drummer and one of the most amazing musicians I have ever had the privilege to meet and know), and asked if they would ever do a reunion.

Shawn emailed me immediately. The answer was no. There was a long and sad story as to what happened with the band and all the members. A book-worthy story, actually, fraught with tales of rockers gone wild and talent wasted on drugs. You know, a typical punk band break-up saga. There is never a happy ending to such things.  

His email brought back some heavy memories. Good and bad. I learned a lot of lessons the hard way back then. Not all of us made it out alive or drug-free or stable. But Shawn did. And I did. And a handful of others. And even though we are not the closest of friends, there is an unshakable bond between all of us. (Putting on my crazy war face) “We’ve seen things…”

I think all of us from that scene have an edge we try to keep buried. We throw alcohol on it and pretend we’ve always been the people we are now. Yet the one thing we seem to have in common is loyalty. I don’t know if we were born this way or if our situations have forced us to become this way. We support each other and show love to each other. And it is beautiful.

Here is a glimpse of two people who made it out alive –

Shawn: (After telling me the Grayling breakup story) I am on the road all the time now. Different city every week. Play in a crazy screaming band. We just got signed and have a cd/record coming out.  I’ll get the 3 Grayling CD’s we recorded to you. They are out of print but I can burn them.
Me: If you could do that I will pay you for it. You were fabulous in that band. One of the best drummers I have ever seen live. Also, let me know when your new CD comes out. I’d love to support you.
Shawn: You don’t have to pay anything. Just thank you for even thinking about me. My ex’s all took my original cd’s so I will have to burn them from old friends. I’d gladly hook you up.
Me: That would be awesome! But I definitely will pay you for your time and for being amazing.
Shawn: No money from you, honey. It’s all good!!
Me:  Ok. Let me know when you guys come through Dallas. I’ll come see you play.
Shawn: Absolutely.

See. Us old punkers, we are a sentimental bunch.

Speaking of musicians, you remember Musician Dude? Well, he’s back to the ‘I miss you’ texts. I refuse to answer him but if I thought it would do me any good, this is what I would say:

“Ahem! No, mother fucker, you do not miss me. You barely even knew me. I gave you advice about your ex (go to a therapist for that), listened to you bitch about your job (I’m sure your groupies will do this for you) and cracked a few witty jokes (Comedy Central, asshole, get it). You were self-centered and your gun collection speech was scary. Worst of all, you quoted Rush at me. Rush! God damn Rush! Any band would have been better than that. And if we are trading sentiment, I do not miss you in the slightest. I knew nothing about you and I am glad I kept it that way. I would tell you to piss off but I have come to my senses and put your number on my spam list. Au Revoir weird guitar player. May your death metal band bring you peace and happiness.”

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