Estrogen Advice on Running

As anyone who has been around me this week knows, I have been bat shit crazy dealing with the changes in my hormones. That’s right. I have been full of estrogen. This means that my hours have been consumed with chocolate, tears and chick flicks. Which usually never ends well. Except this time.

Anyways, in my hormonal state of madness, I ended up watching ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. Yeah, that’s the low I sank to. But as insightful awful of a movie as that was, there were some really good pieces of advice in it.

Here is a quote from Greg Behrendt:

Hey -- do you remember that movie when the girl waited around for the guy to ask her out, then made excuses when he didn't? Then she slept with him when they were both drunk, and basically just hung around until they were kind of dating? Then he cheated on her, but because she knew deep down inside that if she forgave him and kept her expectations low and was really agreeable, she'd get him in the end? He was drunk at the wedding, but they lived miserably ever after in an unsatisfying relationship that was built on a shitty foundation? You don't? That's because those movies don't get made, because that's not what love is like.

Where the fuck was this gem of a statement six years ago? Hell, ten!

So what does this have to do with my hormonal week ending well? During my emotional journey, I had several friends call me and ask me for relationship advice. I don’t have the brilliance of Greg with his movie analogy and in your face attitude. But I didn’t do too badly either. In fact, I realized after the third conversation I was telling all of them the same thing. RUN! Value yourself enough to get the fuck out of there!

Ah, Estrogen Me, you are so very wise.

Look, ladies. I’ve been through some bad relationships. A few good ones too but mostly I have sucked at picking men. However, what I have come to understand is that it isn’t about picking the right guy (he’ll actually pick you) but about getting rid of all the wrong ones. If you do not know when to see the signals that you are wasting your time, then you are in a lot of trouble. Running is sometimes the best answer for everyone. Mostly for you, though.

From my own experience, here are the signs that you need to run. And NOW!

(I will call my current ex 'Mr. Shouldhaveknownbetter'... 'Mr. S' for short; and my ex fiancé 'Tim'.)

1.      He doesn’t introduce you to his friends (or family)

Look, this is pretty simple. When a guy is with a girl he likes, he wants everyone to know. Especially his friends and family. If it’s been more than a month and you have met neither, it is because he doesn’t think you are worth being a part of his life or meeting the people that are important to him. Which means you are not important to him. Wake up and RUN!

2.      He’s a man girl

God damn, I learned this one the hard way. In fact, when I first started dating Wil the first question out of everyone’s mouth was, ‘does he have a job?’ Why? Because Mr. S and Tim did not have jobs. Instead, I went to work, paid the bills, managed the finances and paid for their hobbies or schooling. They were indeed my bitches. Oh sure, they cooked and cleaned, which was nice. But I was the reason we had a home and food. Therefore, they never felt the need to work or pay their half. They were the true meaning of man-girls. And the thing about man-girls, they never become man-men. Do what I should have done and RUN!

3.      His ex’s have ruined him

If his is still bitter about his exes and women in general, he will project that bitterness on you. Even if he doesn’t say anything out loud, on the inside he will be waiting for you to cheat on him, steal his money, fuck his brother, beat his children, max out his credit cards, stab his grandma. And when a guy is too busy waiting for the ball to drop, he doesn’t have enough free time to just enjoy the amazingness that is you. RUN!

4.      He’s a narcissist

I know, I know. They’re charming and fun to be around. They are usually amazing in bed. And let’s admit it, who doesn’t like a man with confidence? Ah, but there is a difference between confidence and being an asshole. RUN!

5.      The only time he makes plans with you it’s last minute

Oh god. Please please please don’t be this girl.  Asking a girl out at the last minute once in a while is okay but if it’s more often than not, you are in trouble. Here’s the thing about boys who ask you out at the last minute… they waited for something better to come up, nothing did, they settled for you. Why would you want to be that girl? Fucking RUN!

6.      He sees women behind your back

First off, let me start by saying it is normal and healthy for guys to have friends that are girls. And it is perfectly reasonable for them to go out to lunch or have drinks with them. If you can’t handle that, you need to be single and work on yourself a little longer.

However, if the guy you are seeing keeps these encounters from you, get out immediately.

Let me give you an example. I ran into a friend a year ago and the conversation went like this.

Me: Good to see you!!

Her: Hey! I just had lunch the yesterday with Mr. S.

Me: Weird. When I asked him what he did yesterday, he never mentioned it.

Her: Yeah. I was going to call you. He asked me not to say anything to you so I thought that was strange.

Me: Hmm…

Her: It was kind of uncomfortable. He’s been texting me a lot and wanting to meet up. I thought maybe you should know.

Me: Thanks.

I did confront Mr. S about it. Not that I cared he had had lunch with her or was texting her, all that really could be innocent. But to hide it from me? No guy hides something innocent. His excuse was that he ‘forgot’ to tell me and that he never told her to not mention it. No, he did not forget. He was an asshole. I should have peaced-out that day. As should you. If he hides hanging out with women… RUN!

7.      He cancels more than three dates

Cali Girl… I’m looking at you. Once, ok. Twice, maybe. Three times, RUN!

8.      He’s never been faithful to any of his past partners

You are not special and you are not the exception. He will cheat on you. RUN!

9.      He flirts with your friends

This is disgusting and I have been guilty of letting this slide in the past. If you have ANY respect for yourself, never stick around a guy who does this. I can actually use this as a gauge to tell if a guy is one of the good ones or not. Every healthy and good relationship I have ever had, the man was nothing but respectful with my friends and myself. Every bad relationship that I should have gotten out of (or never gotten into) the guy flirted with my friends. Real men don’t do this. RUN!

10.   He makes you feel bad about yourself… intentional or not

If a man makes you cry, makes you feel like less of a woman, makes you feel stupid or devalues you in any way, you need to move on. It seems obvious enough but sometimes we women excuse this behavior as unintentional. Here’s a secret, intentional or not, it is a terrible thing. Relationships should make you feel good. If they ever make you feel you are less than what you are, RUN!

 

Here is how Greg Behrendt ended the quote from above:

People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love. Big movies are made about it, and every relationship you admire bursts with a greatness that you hope for in your own life. And the more you value yourself, the more chance you'll have of getting it.

 

In Vibrator News:

I bought batteries today. No more using my TV remote’s. I see a very long shower in my near future.